Of Luck By Chance

Luck By Chance is a 2009 Bollywood drama starring Farhan Akhtar , Konkona Sen Sharma and directed by Zoya Akhtar. Running at a little more than two hours the movie is about a newbie actor Vikram (Akhtar) who has just landed in Mumbai to start an acting career and Sona (Sen) an extra who's been at it for three years.

I'm not going to tell you the story. But hey, just read that second line. New actor, struggling actress, Bollywood. Surely you must have a plot by now.

Unfortunately that is the problem with Luck by Chance. In the very first scene Konkona Sen is being congratulated by Alyy Khan for bagging a role in his new project. Just looking at Khan, anyone can tell that he's going to ask her to sleep with him. And such is the case with the entire film. It's just too predictable and while watching it I had this feeling of deja vu inside me. It's just very cliche.

Which is actually extremely ironic. The movie parodies Bollywood of the yesteryear where Hindi movies were filled with over the top emotions, jokes that werent funny, love that was too pure to be true and directors who had no idea what they were doing. Luck By Chance, thankfully, is not one of those movies but it retains the predictability of them. You know how every character will turn out (well except for the end), you know what they will do and you know what they will say.

Its unfortunate really. Its a good movie. Very watchable with some really good performances. Akhtar and Sen carry their roles with ease, while Rishi Kapoor is just amazing as the yester-year producer who cant digest the fact that the industry has changed. Dimple Kapadia has another power packed performance as the controlling yester-year star trying to push her daughter into the field. Hrithik Roshan has a very very good cameo and I keep telling everyone that he is an extremely underrated actor. King Khan apparently can only act in one particular style even if he is acting as himself.

I'm sorry. I had to let the King Khan part in. See it for yourself, you'll understand.

But its the script and the story that fails. For one, the Bollywood it parodies does not exist anymore. No sensible producer would ever try to produce a movie like "Dil Ki Aag" the movie for which Akhtar's character is selected. And secondly, its nothing new. I guarantee you that by the end of the movie you will be thinking to yourself: ok, I knew all that.

Dont expect a Rock On!! This is an entirely different movie. It's not a breakthrough. But its a good watch.

Of Singh is Kinng

Singh is Kinng is a 2008 Bollywood comedy directed by Aneez Bannerjee starring Akshay Kumar and Katrina Kaif.

In my previous posts you might have noticed that I dislike the over-the-top situations you see in typical Bollywood movies. The reason why I dislike them is because the movies take themselves too seriously and as a result these sequences fall flat on their faces. Typical examples are Race where the whole thing is ridiculous and Om Shanti Om where the movie tries to turn itself into a gritty revenge thriller in the second half (plus the fact that some of the jokes were not funny).

Thankfully Singh is Kinng does not fall into this category.

The movie follows the adventures of Happy Singh (Akshay Kumar) who searches the world for his childhood friend only to find him as a dreaded underwold don known as the King in Australia. In an attempt to turn him to the good side Singh finds himself taking over as temporary King while the original King is left paralyzed after an attack on his life. What follows are screwball comedy moments which turn the movie into a laugh riot from the word go.

And I mean laugh riot. Unlike the forced comedy of Om Shanti Om the comedy here is presented through a host of remarkable characters (including Akshay) and sequences that match the tone and flow of the movie. And the best part is: the movie does not take itself seriously. It does not try to mask itself with something that its not. Aneez realizes that the movie he's making is a comedy and he keeps it that way which results in a highly enjoyable movie experience. There are things wrong with the movie but they are small enough to be insignificant.

Akshay does what Akshay normally does. Its not a bad thing, he fits in the role and the movie is exclusively made for him. Katrina ... has nothing to do other than walk, talk and dance for a while. She really has to get better roles like the one in Namastey London. Ranvir Shorey is fast shedding the image of a sarcastic VJ into an actor who should be noticed. But I felt that the best performance in the movie was from a highly restrained Javed Jaffrey who speaks in whispers and hides the fact that he is deaf and dumb. Now for such a "loud" actor - speaking in whispers is tough and he does it extremely well. Watch out for him ... this very well could be his comeback. The punjabi gang is an extremely likeable bunch of characters, each unique in their own way and Neha Dupia surprises me with her comic performance. (Although there was one cringing scene where she sings)

It's extremely tough for me to give a Bollywood movie a thumbs up but this movie was honourable with its intentions and it made me laugh all the way through. Worth the watch and maybe another.

Of The Dark Knight

Directed by Christopher Nolan and running at close to 2 and a half hours, The Dark Knight is the 2008 sequel to Batman Begins.

Ok, with that out of the way let's answer a couple of questions. Is TDK the best movies of 2008 so far ? Yes. Is TDK the movie it was all hyped up to be ? Yes. Is TDK the Godfather 2 of super-hero movies ?

Hmm.

If you're going to watch this movie thinking you're going to get another whiff of Batman Begins then boy, oh boy are you wrong! This is an entirely different movie which is darker, grimmer and more complex than its predecessor. The first movie made it clear that Batman was not the all enduring hero that every other costume-freak is. No, Batman is human and a very vulnerable one at that too. And though TDK has some death defying moments that seem a bit too hard to believe, Batman is still very very vulnerable.

TDK takes place a year after the events of the first movie. The mob isn't exactly running scared but it is in its death throes and with the entrance of a charismatic DA - Harvey Dent - things are getting worse. But as the law and the Bat are concentrated on the final blows to the mob the ignore a creepy crawling danger - the Joker. And when he strikes, he strikes at the minds of everyone.

The pace of the movie is relentless. It's like jumping from one climax to the other in the entire movie and it's not like it's a couple of action scenes being bunched together. There is coherence to the movie, there is a firm plot along which the movie runs and the plot is further strengthened by formidable characters. There is the odd comic one-liners you found in the first film and here they serve to balance the frantic pace at which the movie flows. I cant find one moment where I wanted to tell the screen to hurry up. It's all deliciously timed and Nolan has achieved something entirely new in this genre. Right from the first scene where the Joker robs a bank to the end the movie is as fast as the Bat-pod.

Christian Bale is and always will be the Batman of our age. The suit and the character seems to have been made just for him. Morgan Freeman and Micheal Caine (who better than him for Alfred?) breeze through their roles with ease. Maggie Gyllenhall does a fine job with Bruce's love interest Rachel Dawes; much better than Katie Holmes. Aaron Eckhart does well with Harvey Dent. Gary Oldman is spectacular as Commissioner Gordon.

Which leads us to Heath Ledger ... and the Joker.

If you're a movie buff like me, you'll know that the Joker character was one of feathers in Jack Nicholson's cap ever since he played the role in the 1989 Tim Burton film. Now, the problem with Nicholson's Joker was that it was Jack Nicholson. You expect Nicholson to be eccentric. You expect him to be insane. You expect him to smile that god-awful smile. You just don't see the Joker there. You expect Jack Nicholson and that's what you get.

But you don't expect that from Heath Ledger. And that is why Ledger's Joker ... is without doubt ... one the greatest movie performance of all time. No, not because he's dead ... not because all the critics are raving about him ... but because it just is.

Part of this is because TDK's Joker is the original Joker. He plays with everyone's mind and literally takes the entire city hostage. After the first half hour the Joker makes his presence felt throughout the movie and you do feel his presence even when he's not on screen. Ledger brings a level of insanity to his performance that is unsettling and frightening. One of the best sequences in the film is when the Bat roughens the Joker up for answers and with each blow you slowly realize that it's no use. It's just no use. The man is mad.

Those are all the good. Let's get with the bad.

There's a moment in the movie which was just too much of James Bond. And that distracted me for a minute. If that is a hint of what Nolan wants to do with Batman in the future, then I'm not too sure about the future. This scene is so ... cliche that it actually looked ... and I mean exactly like James Bond and Q. Complete with the product placement. Very very distracting.

Two-face, although terrifying ... is not fully explored. Maybe, just maybe it's because the Joker is the hovering presence here, but no ... I just felt that wasn't it. Don't get me wrong - Two face is all that he can be, way better than Tommy Lee Jones but it just didn't quite satisfy as well as the Joker did.

So ... is TDK the Godfather 2 of the super-hero genre ?

Yes.

This movie is a gem. An actual gem. It's almost not a super-hero movie. You don't have the CGI being shoved into your face. You don't have the melodrama of Spider-Man. You don't have the boyish wit of IronMan. What you have is an emotional dark tale of morality and insanity. What you have is one of the greatest screen villains in history. What you have in TDK is the complete movie. Watch the movie, even if you're not a Batman fan ... or simply watch it for Heath Ledger. You will NOT regret it.

Of a dark night

"Would you like to hear a story ?"

I sigh. It's times like these when I wish I had a cigarette. I quit smoking some three months ago but the pangs are yet to leave. And now stuck in a cruiser that wont start and the weasel sitting behind me with a smug grin I cant help but think that this was the right time to light one up. Backup wont be here for another ten to fifteen minutes; what else was there to do other than light up ?

"Do I have a choice ? "

His grin widens and I tighten my grip on the gun. We're separated by a thick sheet of glass but I know that he can break through that with one good head butt. It's a dark night and there's no one around in this corner of the street. I'm a sitting duck here and he knows it.

"Of course you have a choice. I'm handcuffed and you're the one with a gun. You wouldn't have a choice if I had a knife at your throat and demanded that my story be the last words you hear."

His eyes meet mine in the mirror. "So, do you want to hear it ?"

I say nothing but my eyes give me away. As much as I loathe the weasel he's the only one that can stop me from going paranoid at this particular moment.

He relaxes his body and settles deeper in the back seat.

"This is a story I heard from my friend when I visited him in jail a couple of months. We go back a long long way. We were both raised in the same orphanage and when we turned 18 the orphanage threw us out. Cant blame them, they thought they taught us all we needed to know to survive in this cruel world. They didn't. We learned that for ourselves. And then we moved here."

"A couple of years under Falcone and we were good. Life was easy. We had the money, the girls, everything. But then I had grown enough of this place. You see, I always wanted change. I wanted to move, discover new territories, that kind of stuff. My friend thought different. He thought this was paradise. And that's all he wanted."

"And so I left and came back when I heard he's been busted. Old friendships die hard and I wanted to see him. Couldnt offer help, of course, he was so deep in shit, Jesus and his holy finger couldnt save him. I just wanted to be there ... offer a shoulder to cry on."

The weasel looks out the window, lost in thought. I wonder what friend he's talking about. Anyone I had encountered ?

A dog howls in the distance. Perfect. I fucking hate dogs. Every single one of them, even those faithful kinds in canine.

He continues.

"I was shocked when I saw him. The man looked like he'd met his maker and his maker wasn't too happy. He'd gone deathly thin and his eyes were meaningless. I could see the bones of his shoulder jutting out of his skin like it wanted to pop out of him. Terrible, awful sight to see."

"I asked him what was wrong. Was it the showers ? It couldn't have been, we had our share of it in the orphanage. Was it the jailers ? Couldn't have been that either, because he's a tough man. What was it then ?"

"He looked at me with those dead eyes and told me it was the way he'd been busted. You see ..." and he leans in to whisper while my hands grow white around the gun " ... he'd been busted by the Bat."

As if on cue I glance up at the moonlit skyscrapers expecting to see him there. Somewhere ... somewhere in that forest of concrete and steel, he was there and that feeling was the most secure one I'd had all day.

The weasel leans back smiling. "The Bat" he says and grows silent for a few seconds until I prompt him:

"How did he get caught ?"

"It was a night more or less like this one. And a street in the Narrows like this one. He was in dark corner waiting for customers but customers had dried up ever since that weird incident a year ago. He had a gun with him, his vintage King Cobra, not too good for distance shots but packs a punch point blank. He'd been on that particular corner the whole week and while business was slow, it was the only business he'd got all month."

"That night, however, was different. He swears now that it was like the whole world from the biggest whale to the smallest bug had gone silent. A full moon had risen over the Narrows and the light from it was of no real help at all. All it did was create long ominous shadows that scared the hell out of him. After an hour or so he decided to leave. The night was bad, he said, and there was something in it which he did not want to meet."

"So he walked back home and home was a couple of blocks away. He didn't mind walking the Narrows at night; he was used to it. But after a couple of paces he swore he heard the faintest sound of cloth. He couldn't remember what kind it was and I know this because he kept shaking his head in despair as he said it. It was some kind of cloth and of that he was sure. He turned around and of course no one was there. He stepped up his pace because he was on the verge of being terrified and he wanted to get home before he did."

"Another couple of paces later he heard the cloth again, but this time, this time he heard it hit against flesh. You know the sound that you hear when women run around in long dresses ? He said it sounded like that, only more sinister. The previous sound had been of cloth being hit with a gust of air. Meaning that whatever it was had just flown in and was now following him on foot."

"There can be only one kind in Gotham City who can do that."

"My friend panicked. He took out his gun and aimed at every shadow he found. I can imagine him doing that, shivering head to toe, the poor bastard. And he was whispering, "come on, come on, come on""

"And out of the darkness came a voice in a whisper so grim and frightening that it seemed like the dark had said it: "I'm here." And as my friend watched a shadow emerged out of a corner. Steadily it grew and grew but he could not make out a shape. All he saw were two eyes and black shape. There were no hands, no feet, no head for all he could see. Only two eyes, so blank in their stare that my friend could see no mercy, no hope, no re-assurance in them. In his words, they were the eyes of death."

Somewhere in the distance I hear sirens. I don't know if its my back-up but secretly I wish it to come a few minutes late. I want to hear this story.

"My friend fired. All six rounds. And this thing just seemed to engulf them. Didn't even flinch. There were sparks somewhere below the eyes but that was all. And as the hammer clicked on an empty chamber, the shape rushed on him. The last thing he saw was the shape change into something hideous and huge as it ran with terrific speed upon him."

"He never got to see the Bat up close and personal. He passed out before the Bat got to him."

That made me chuckle. A weasel just like the one behind me passing out before the Batman got to him just seemed a trifle funny.

"You liked that I see. Well I suppose you should."

"And your friend opened his eyes in jail ?" I ask.

He shrugs. "Something like that. But that's not what he wanted to say. He wanted to tell me that the Bat was a demon. The Bat was supernatural. You couldn't kill it. You couldn't plead with it. All he wanted to tell me was that the Bat just wasn't human."

I look at him in the mirror and meet his eyes. "Do you believe that?"

He returns my mocking glare. "No, Officer. Quite frankly I dint. I think the Bat, despicably frightening as he is ... is a man ... or a woman, although I think he's a man.

He leans in again but this time I don't flinch. The sirens are close by and he can hear them too. "But the thing is, the more reflected on the story, the more I got to know about the Bat. He wears a bat costume. He lives in the dark and is a creature of the shadows. And he stood there facing those bullets without fear."

"You may call that bravery. I call that insanity. The Bat is insane; my friend. A calculated insanity, sure, but no more sane than the cookies you pick up on odd weekdays."

He leans back as the lights of the backup cruiser flood the street. The car comes up behind me slowly. I open my door and put one leg out.

"You can't combat that sort of insanity unless you have the same , or even more of your own kind."

I turn to him. "And where do you find that kind of insanity ?" I ask.

"It's already here. It's already come."

The lights of the other cruiser switch off along with the siren. The night grows dark and silent again.

"What?" I ask again. "What has come ?"

He chuckles which comes out a happy gleeful sound. "You'll see. Tomorrow ... you'll all see."

And somewhere ... up above us all I could have sworn the Bat was watching us.

Of 4 movies that made me cry

Guys are not supposed to cry at the movies or so the norm goes ... but that's a load of bull and a lot of people know it. I was listening to one of Dr. Mark Kermode's delightful podcasts when out of no reason I started to think about the movies that have made me cry. I think about them now because there are only but a few and I also think about them because they havent made movies like them in a long long time.

I've not listed any Bollywood movies because frankly I've never cried at any of them, but there are aq couple of regional movies like Akashadooth, a Malaylam movie tyhat was designed specifically to make everyone cry and the drama movies of acclaimed actor Kamal Hassan. I forget the name of the movie in which he plays the guardian of the mentally challenged Sridevi but the final five minutes of the movie is so heart-wrenching that it makes me flinch just to remember it. If anyone knows the name of this classic please let me know.

Before we get on with the list, here's a couple of movies you should not be expecting. Titanic, because it loses its magic after the first viewing; Bambi - because I've never seen it and Love Story - because I booed instead of crying.

So here are four movies (in no particular order) that brought out the tears:

1. ET

I saw ET for the first time when I was 23. As astonishing as that may seem it's true. ET was realeased the year I was born but we never got around to renting the movie. I was more obsessed with cartoons and the sorts and maybe, just maybe, my family wanted to protect me from it.

Because ET, is the most traumatic movie any child will ever watch. You have to remember that Spielberg was at his best when he made ET and every movie from Duel to Close Encounters (except Indy) was always emotionally close to the audience. Here he gives us the cutest alien there ever was, a relationship with a couple of kids you would kill for and the best seven year old kid's performance in Drew Barrymore.

And then he has the audacity to kill the alien. And just when we are wiping the tears off from an emotionally heavy death bed scene ET revives and there's just enough time for a final happy ride before the alien has to leave his friends forever. Let me be clear on this: that was not a happy ending. ET leaves and that was the end of it - he never came back and there was no sequel. Maybe that's the reason ET turned out to be the classic that it is, but it's still one ripping scene when he leaves. It was Spielberg's genius that left almost everyone streaming.

2. Crash
Directed by Paul Haggis, Crash is one of those movies that grips and refuses to let you go until its done. Criss-crossing across sixteen characters it describes in gritty realism the level of racism and hatred that dwell among people. If you havent watched this movie I suggest you do ... as its on of those rare masterpieces that go on to become a timeless classic.

Now, there's a particular scene in this movie that is extremely and I mean EXTREMELY powerful. I'm not going to spoil it for those who havent watched the movie but those who have should know what I'm talking about. The buildup to this scene starts right from the beginning and ends in this absolute shocker that left me flooding tears without even knowing about it. And then it slowly hit, this was the movie's climax and it crept and pounced so unexpectedly that I just wasnt prepared for it. A true gem of cinema, this has to be one of the most emotionally draining scenes in any movie ever. Trust me : watch Crash; you'll never regret it.

3. LOTR - Return of the King

Surprised ? You should be. This should not feature on any tear-jerker list but here it is. Directed by Peter Jackson and winner of a record-equalling 11 Academy Awards Return of the King is the conclusion of a fantasy epic. Big huge war scenes and amazing CGI were its highlights ... but there was also more.

If you are a LOTR fan like I am then there's a good chance that you were delighted with the adaptation. The performances were amazing, from Andy Serkis as the unforgettable Gollum to Sir Ian McKellan as the wise Gandalf. But right from the first movie the bond between Frodo and Sam was emotional and it caught your mind's eye or atleast it should have. Having been with them throught their mentally and physically enduring journey to Mordor they come within a few paces of Mount Doom. Frodo collapses under the burden of the Ring and Sam (played brilliantly by Sean Astin) picks him up on his shoulders with that memorable line:

"I can't carry it for you .... but I can carry you"

Lump in throat. Tears in eyes.

4. Life is Beautiful

An Italian movie starring and directed by Roberto Benigni starts off as a comedy and a mighty good one at that. When I started watching the movie and laughing at the gags I was beginning to feel uneasy. You see, I knew that this movie was not going to end well and it was making us feel right at home with the characters which is a classic way of making you reach out for the Kleenex at the end.

Which it did.

The rest of the movie is heartbreaking to say the least. Deported off to a concentration camp during the Second World War the movie is about a father who tries to shield his five year old son from the brutality of war using the only weapon he has: comedy. He acts out for his son to convince him that the concentration camp is all just a game where the winner wins a tank. The five year old wide-eyed son believes everything his father tells him up until the very end of the movie where the father asks him to hide in a sweatbox until everyone has left. The child chuckles as he watches through a peephole his father imitates a Nazi soldier while being marched away.

And then you hear the gunshot.

Minutes late the child comes out of the sweatbox to collect his prize. An American tank coming in to liberate the camp.

If you're a father or have ever loved a child ... you will know how depressing that final scene is.

That's it. These were the movies that had the emotional potential to throw a tear-bomb at me, and while there were others that made me feel sad, none touched me more than the movies above.

I hope you liked this list and before you go however, what were the movies that made you cry ?

Of Jodhaa Akbar

Powered by: Chakpak.com	Jodhaa Akbar

I know, I know it's late to be reviewing this, but I was only able to watch the movie over the weekend and since this was an eagerly awaited movie I just couldn't resist reviewing it.

Jodhaa Akbar (JB) is a 2008 historical epic starring Bollywood heartthrob Hrithik Roshan and former Miss World Aishwarya Rai. The premise of the movie is the romance between the sixteenth century Mughal emperor Akbar and the Rajput princess Hira Kunwari Sahiba who is referred to as Jodhaa in the movie. IMDB clocks this movie at 213 minutes which is pretty long even for a Bollywood movie. Ashutosh Gowariker whose earlier credits include the Academy Award nominated Lagaan and the critically acclaimed Swades directs this movie.

Watching JB is like watching Ridley Scott's Heaven on Earth; a movie that was painfully politically correct in its every stride. While this is not necessarily a bad thing it does make the movie more artificial rather than real. JB is also similar to Santosh Sivan's biopic Asoka. Asoka tried to theorize that it was love that turned a warrior blood thirsty king to a non violent Buddhist. It is the same sort of love, apparently, that turns Akbar into a wise and secular emperor.

Bollywood historical epics, in my opinion, have always been a joke. They never get the facts right and they always end up making a larger than life character out of real people. For instance did you know that Mangal Pandey was hanged in secret by the British because they did not want an uprising over his death ? Yet the movie makes a dramatic public execution that leads to a revolt and subsequently the War of 1857 at the same moment he dies. Rajkumar Santoshi's The Legend of Bhagath Singh with all its 15 years of research made a glaring mistake. Singh shot the wrong man in Lahore. DSP Saunders was not the target; Police chief Scott was. But of course the hero of the movie can't make mistakes.

JB however has a disclaimer right before the credits that state it is based on only one of the versions of historical record and that there are other versions. Gowariker himself has stated that most of the movie was his imagination, so I will forgive some of the inaccuracies I saw in the movie. Yes, I know, I'm weird that way.

This is Hrithik's movie all the way. He truly personifies the glamour, lavishness and fury of the Mughals. His Akbar is a very restrained performance and he is excellent while portraying the young emperor who is lovestruck and vulnerable. Aishwarya does a good job portraying Jodhaa but I just couldn't see her as a Rajput princess. The Rajput's were defiant and fiery and you see none of that in her. She even holds a sword like a clumsy drunk buffoon in one very embarrassing scene.

Cinematography is another strong point in this movie. Before special effects Hollywood was famous for its camera work (Ben Hur for example) and it seems Indian cinema has reached this stage. The camera makes epic the ancient battlefields of India and it also captures the elegance and magnitude of the Mughal and Rajput palaces. The elephant sequence and the climactic scenes are a gem to watch for.

Since it's directed by Ashutosh Gowariker you have to expect a lot which is exactly what I did but I have to say I was disappointed. There are some scenes in the movie which are just stunning like the execution of Akbar's elder brother and then there are some scenes which were unbelievably corny like the death of Jodhaa's brother. The film is long running at over 3 hours and it seems like Gowariker seems to have lost his way on certain days of shooting. If I were to draw the high points and low in chronological order of the movie it would look like this:



Jodhaa Akbar is a good movie and bold according to Bollywood standards but it loses some its pitch at various points. Also it's a bit long and this will take the interest out of any person who's not much into history. Watch it if you liked Lagaan and Swades, but give it a miss if you don't like historical epics and if you don't want to spend 3 hours on a movie.

Of Race

Powered by: Chakpak.com	Race

For those of you who don't like long rambling movie critiques I'll give it to you in a nutshell. Watch this movie till the intermission and then run for your life. Because as much as the story will engross you in the first hour it will literally kill you as you watch further.

Abbas-Mastan the "director-duo" has made a movie that is basically a carbon copy of their previous movies as well as using some silly Bollywood gimmicks of the crazy nineties. If you've watched their movies before then you'll know that this is a fast paced suspense thriller with twists every five minutes and characters who are all shady. There are so many twists in this movie that its hard to keep count. Murder, sex, betrayal and money - the four pillars or Abbas Mastan movies are in here and you have to wonder what these two think of themselves and their audience when they keep churning out the same formula every two years. Come on guys ... at least be creative.

The plot revolves around two brothers, Saif and Akshaye with Saif being the older, who are involved in a horse race outfit somewhere in Durban. Saif, the mature of the two has feelings for Bipasha Basu who incidentally is also the object of affection for Akshaye. Saif in an attempt to curb Akshaye's drinking problem sacrifices his love and steps aside as the two flirt their way into marriage. Meanwhile Saif has a secretary Katrina Kaif who harbors a secret crush for her boss which he mistakes as affection. Throw a murder into this outfit and you have an investigating officer Anil Kapoor who in turn is adored and worshipped by his assistant Sameera Reddy.

Put in a few twists, boil it for a while and you have Race.

The fact that I named the actors playing their respective roles and not the characters will tell you how disgusted I am with this movie. Race has potential and if the above plot had been presented in a slightly different manner we would have had a blockbuster. The first half is actually quite good with at least one good twist. Anil Kapoor comes in at the intermission and then everything goes to hell.

What is this man doing? He's a fine actor but why does he keep taking roles that portray him as some intelligent genius who cracks one liners and really poor sex related jokes ? He is horrible to watch in this movie. Every scene of his is embarrassing. The jokes aren't funny, his lewd approach to women aren't funny, his appearance isn't funny and he does not really add to the plot. Add to this travesty of screen casting is Sameera Reddy who plays his assistant (???) in skimpy clothes and no brains. All she has to do is keep reminding the audience that she works for a genius and strut her stuff. That is it. If there was any character you had to take off from this film, it has to be her.

Katrina Kaif is another failure in this movie. Oh yes she's gorgeous with some really sexy legs but in the name of everything that is good and holy will everyone please stop telling me that she's the next big Bollywood actress. While I wont doubt the fact that she can act (Namaste London for ex) she falls flat on her face in Race. Her role is of importance to the plot but somehow all she does is walk around in mini office skirts and smile. Her one scene of sorrow is pure torture.

Saif, I think, is trying to break his image as the confused romantic comedian and he does well in a new role. Bipasha too does justice while Akshay breezes through a role he has done quite often in the past. However they are all let down by an awful script and some really corny lines. At one point in the movie a character says "girne aur marne mey bahut fark hota hai" which when translated means : there's a difference between falling and dying.

Well ... DUH !!!

While there are no plot holes which left me mildly surprised there are a number of goof ups particularly in the geography department. The story is set in Durban, South Africa but when Katrina takes a coke out of her refrigerator, the Arabic letters of "Coke" can be clearly seen. (Due to the fact that half the movie was shot in Dubai Media City) And the climactic race scene goes through three countries, namely: South Africa, UAE and India. This particular sequence is so stupid that one car driving through the desert goes through a tunnel and lo, behold when he comes out he's on the edge of a cliff above a thick dense forest.

That is just plain insulting the viewers intelligence.

There is one great highlight in this movie. A one minute sequence featuring the veteran Johnny Lever. I've not been a great fan of this comedian but I must admit he was a pure gem in his brief scene. It's so great that its sad to know that something so well done had to be placed in a movie so bad.

Give Race a miss. You wont regret it.

Of the Simpsons Movie

Its been eighteen years in the making but its finally out! I've been a Simpsons fan for a long long time and I rarely miss the episodes they now air on Star World, even if they are repeats. So I really really wanted to go watch the movie when it came out on theatres but since not one of my friends or roomates watch the Simpsons, they just thought it was some childish cartoon or even worse something that just wasnt funny.

Yeah, as I've said quite a number of times: I'm that kind of guy. The kind of guy who just cant watch a movie by myself.

So, back to the movie. I had to laugh out loud when Ralph sang along with the Fox fanfare and when Bart writes "I will not illegally download this movie" on the chalkboard (talk about irony) and I pretty much giggled through the rest of the movie. There are the classic pop culture references (including one cheesy Disney reference), the satirical one liners and well ... there's Homer.

What I was amazed to see was some really good dramatic scences (check out Marge's tape) and thats something new to the Simpsons. Sure there have been scenes of reconciliation and sorrow in the Simpson series but not quite like this. You can actually feel it in the characters voices and I kinda think that shows the commitment everyone had in making the movie.

Animation is the same Simpson self with computer generated backgrounds. Nothing new there. The story is good, but not as good as some of the episodes. That bummed me out a little.

Another thing I didnt like is the lack of secondary characters. Oh they're there all right but they come and go so fast you probably wont even notice. That was'nt good.

Well, overall a good Simpsons treat but not the gigantic movie everyone was expecting. You'll enjoy it if you are a Simpsons fan and you'll probably like it if you're not. And if you dont get American sense of humor, you'll sleep right through it.

Of Om Shanti Om

Believe it or not, I just watched Om Shanthi Om. I know its late but I've been avoiding this highly awaited movie from Farah Khan for a long time now. I hated Main Hoon Na ... and i hated the way this woman directed. Yep, I'm one of those people.

Now about Om Shanthi Om. A few scenes after the interval I realized exactly what this movie was. I checked the internet and found no reference to it ... it seems no one has caught this. So for everyone out there and thinking that the movie is original with its final climactic twist : the movie aint original at all. This is a re-imagining (not a remake) of the 1958 Bimal Roy classic Madhumati starring Dilip Kumar and Vyjyanthimala. For those of you who dont know about this movie check it up on Wikipedia.

So ... its this old classic movie in a contemporary setting. Where have I heard that before ? Oh yes, RGV's Aag. I guess Farah didnt want to take the same chances by announcing that her "magnum opus" was also a remake.

Anywayz as everyone knows by now its a re-incarnation tale set in the high fly 70's of Bollywood with the reincarnated appearing in contemporary Bollywood. So there's a lot of glam and such and critics have called it a "homage" to the old 70's flick. Lets get this straight: its not a homage, it makes plain fun of it.

So the big question. Did I like the movie ? NO !

SRK is fine ... he does what he does best : spread his arms like an eagle for romantic comedy scenes and douse himself in blood for the action scenes. Sure thats corny but he does it well and any other actor would have made a fool of himself. Deepika is not worth all the critical acclaim everyone keeps showering on her, period. Arjn Rampal is pretty good which is saying something. the others are all set pieces remnant of previous SRK movies. The movie is glamorous. I'll give it that but thats all its got.

The first half is fine ... I seriously liked some of the comic scenes in the beginning ... they really made me laugh. But after that Farah brings in the same mindless comic and drama scenes she did in Main Hoon Na and this is especially obvious in the second half. And believe me, the second half is just no good.

So what is OSO in short ? Every reincarnation movie you've seen in Bollywood with the Madhumita storyline sandwiched within Farah's pathetic sense of humor. Watch it if you liked her earlier debacle but if you didnt like MNH you'll find solace knowing that OSO is a lot better than that. Atleast the first half.

Cloverfield reviews

Cloverfield had an advanced screening yesterday and the blogging community has already gone apes out it. According to them J.J. Abrams has created a classic !

Let me remind you that this is not a run of the mill monster movie. Nor, so it seems, is this a Blair Witch ripoff where you only get to see the monster at the end. This is however a movie of five friends and their will to survive the worst nightmare they could ever think of. So dont expect a Micheal Bay or Roland Emmerich movie. I would expect something more on the lines of Spielberg's War of the Worlds where the entire story was told from the normal everyday man's point of view.

I'm not posting any links to the reviews as some of them have spoilers but I will leave you with a few picz from this much awaited movie.

Cloverfield Clues

I've found an interesting blog that's everything Cloverfield. Beware though... spoilers abound!

Cloverfield

Cloverfield is a PG-13 rated monster movie from J.J Abrams (Lost, Alias) and directed by Matt Reeves releasing world wide on Jan 18th.

While Hollywood really has produced one of the most memorable monster movies of all time in King Kong (1933) it hasnt quite held its own with the cheesy low budget but memorable Godzilla movies from Japan. Granted you could argue that Jurassic Park was a monster movie, but we all know what everyone means by the genre. A monster comes out (usually from under the sea) and then wrecks havoc on a huge metropolis knocking down skyscrapers with its elbow. The last time this was seen in Hollywood was with Roland Emmerich's Godzilla which to me resembled a video game more than a movie.

So whats special about Cloverfield ? Well for one, its produced by J.J Abrams who brought us Lost. Two, it has an extremely well defined marketing strategy. The monster has been kept in the shadows and no one really knows what destroys New York. Third, it's the story. Five friends with a digital camera try to survive the colossal onslaught. Blair Witch meets Godzilla.

The trailer was released (curiously) without a name during the Transformers screening. It, along with an exclusive clip has already generated buzz and speculation among movie bloggers and critics. The severed head of the Statue of Liberty has by now become an almost iconic moment in the trailer thus making Cloverfield one of the most highly anticipated movies of 2008.

Although it releases on the 18th, I'm not sure if Bangalore will get a glimpse of this monster at the same time. But I'm gonna watch this movie come rain or hail and review it right here. Oh did I mention that before ? I'm a fierce movie critic. :D

Check out the movie website here where you'll also be able to watch an HD version of this now famous trailer.

I'll keep posting every new update I get to hear.