Of saying goodbye

How do you say goodbye ? Not to a person but to a dream ? A cherished dream that would have held the future for you, a dream that would have lasted all your life ?

That is what I have to say goodbye to when I say goodbye to Bangalore.

First off, apologies for not posting anything for nearly a month. The past three weeks have been a crazy whirlwind of emotions, heated discussions and difficult decisions. At the end of it all, for better or for worse, I've decided to leave Bangalore. Health, finance, career and family all had their part in this decision which I have to say, was one of the hardest I have ever had to take.

Two years ago on this very day I first set foot upon Bangalore. The myth's and legends of Bangalore being the techno savvy city of India were all thrown out the window in the first five minutes. While I was expecting something hi-tech I was greeted with pollution, garbage, stench and crowds. Of course this isn't the case for the whole of Bangalore but to someone who had come in for the first time, it was a bit of a shock.

I met V after four years that day and old friendships were renewed. Bangalore is the city that brought me back to my roots and my childhood. I was happy here ... for the first six to seven months, but then things went down a steady spiral.

I cant quite put my finger on what really happened, but I am sure that the dream did not work out. Working and being happy in your own country is something we all wish for but as you all know we almost never get what we wish for.

The dream isnt a total failure however. Career wise, Bangalore has done miracles for me. I can now go up to any interview without fear and work in any corporate without fear because I've been exposed to international work standards. This was not the case with my previous stint in Abu Dhabi where I worked for a local Arab company. In that office everyone screamed at each other and curiously, screamed at their computers.

But its still goodbye.

There are things in Bangalore that I wont miss. The pollution, the dust, the mosquito's, the rascist tones and most importantly, the dogs. Bangalore must have the highest population of stray dogs. You will not find a cat here and even if you do they'll be living on rooftops not daring to get down. Seriously after 11 pm Bangalore belongs to the dogs. I have been chased countless number of times by these hideous fanged creatures.

What I will miss are the malls, the pubs, the girls and the friends. There are memories here that I will never forget. Getting drunk with V and K, sitting by a lake in front of V's office and so many more.

When there were good time's there were also the bad times. And during these bad times I have hurt a number of people. I'm not going to name people but if you're one of them then please do know I that I am extremely sorry for my actions. I've apologised a number of times and a lot people have thought that I've never meant it but I do, I do mean it, from the bottom of my heart ... I do mean it when I say I'm sorry.

There is one memory I will forever cherish and that was meeting "her" for the first time. She was a long distance relationship and after two years of chatting and emails I finally saw her for the first time two years ago on this very same day. She was blurred in my vision that day; not because of tears, but because I was not wearing my glasses at the time; but that blurred image of her in a black tshirt and spotless white chicas will always be there in that album of memory snapshots. It's goodbye to you too, I've tried contacting you for the last few weeks but ...

Sigh.

We've slowly and surely drifted apart, you and I, and however much I may think it was all your fault on drunken nights I know I had my part to play in it too. I hope to see you again before I go.

Hmm.

So its goodbye Bangalore and its more likely to be goodbye forever. It's goodbye to a dream I've had for four years but I must be strong. Change is unavoidable and life is never constant. It's time to turn the boat around ... and try once again.

Of thirty questions

I've been tagged!

This is something I've been waiting for quite a long time now. I've read other bloggers getting tagged and sending them out and it seemed like a fun thing to do. I could have asked to be tagged but I didnt want to hurt my precious ego. So you see ? Waiting for something does work!

Many many thanks to Ann for tagging me. May you rest assured that you have had the honor.

Without further ado please do delve into my complex mind:

1. LAST MOVIE YOU SAW IN A THEATER:
Race. It's fun when you watch a bad movie with V and K. Especially the part when a character said that you involuntarily say the truth when you're drunk. The three of us looked at each other at the same time.


2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?
"Atlas Shrugged" by Ayn Rand. Nice theoroms but its kinda awkward when no two characters have a normal conversation without delving into philosophy. For ex:

A: Hi! What did you have for breakfast.

B: (starts off on a two page essay about objectivism which includes something about bacon and eggs)


3. FAVORITE BOARD GAME?
Monopoly. I rule during the beginning and the middle of the game but once Mayfair is lost ... so am I

4. FAVORITE MAGAZINE?
That I've read ? Times. Favorite magazine I would like to read ? National Geographic.
Favorite magazine I'd like to rip to shreds ? Cosmopolitan.

5. FAVORITE SMELLS?
The smell of paint and gasoline. Oddly I know a lot of people who like the same.


6. FAVORITE SOUNDS?
It was the breaking glass intro of Stone Cold Steve Austin. But all that changed a year when I heard a tiger roar in the jungle at 2.45 am. That was exotic!

7. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?
The feeling of not having accomplished anything. The feeling of failure.


8. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE?
Its a toss between these two: "I am so not drinking ever again" and "Dang It !! Not another wet dream !!"

9. FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE?
McDonalds. I like their burgers. I do not like Roland. I've had a thing for clowns ever since I read Stephen King's IT.


10. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME?
If its a girl: Navomika. If its a boy: ... I dont know ... Chucky, maybe ?


11. FINISH THIS STATEMENT. "IF I HAD A LOT OF MONEY I'D...?
Buy a house, get me a 59" plasma TV, a PS 3, an iMac and a Porsche. No ... you're not getting any of it.


12. DO YOU DRIVE FAST?
Yes. Which is one of the reasons my Dad does not let me drive.


13. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?
No. I dont trust myself with them.


14. STORMS-COOL OR SCARY?
Cool! Till it tries to kill me.


15. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?
A Maruti Zen. Remains to be my favorite car till date.


16. FAVORITE DRINK?
Vodka. Just love it!

17. FINISH THIS STATEMENT, "IF I HAD THE TIME I WOULD
Remake the Star War prequels, make them immortal to the movie industry, walk up to George Lucas and scream: "THATS HOW YOU DO IT YOU RETARD !!!"


18. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS ON BROCCOLI?NO!!!
Never had broccoli. Wooohooooo!!!


19. IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD BE YOUR CHOICE?
Anyone see "The Island." Ewan McGregor dyes his hair in a particular way. I dont know what that color is but if any of you do ... let me know!

20. NAME ALL THE DIFFERENT CITIES/TOWNS YOU HAVE LIVED IN.
Abu Dhabi, Dubai, Sharjah, Thrissur, Bangalore, Calicut


21. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Soccer. Man U rules !


22. ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU.
She's cute. :D


23. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED?
When I had nightmares I used to have a crucifix. Then when I started sleep walking I had a cricket bat, a knife and the TV remote.

There's nothing there now. Except maybe Debonair.


24. WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE BORN AS YOURSELF AGAIN?
Yes. And I'd like to live the same life all over again, so I can rectify a couple of life altering mistakes.


25. MORNING PERSON, OR NIGHT OWL?
Night Owl. I sleep at around 3 am.

26. OVER EASY, OR SUNNY SIDE UP?
Sunny side up please with some pepper over the top.


27. FAVORITE PLACE TO RELAX?
Tiger Ranch, Bandipur. This is an amazing jungle resort.


28. FAVORITE PIE?
I dont like pies.


29. FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
Chocolate ice cream!


30. OF ALL THE PEOPLE YOU TAGGED THIS TO, WHO'S MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND FIRST?
Can't say. I'm placing my bet on Offended.

Whew, so thats my first tag and I am going to send this over to the following:

Hamish

The Offended Blogger

Lord Likely

Anok

Pentad

Charmaine Zoe

Ekim


That was fun. :D