Saturday, July 12, 2008

Of moving day

Atleast it wasnt like this:



"Honey ... I think we missed something"




While we were packing; and by we I mean V and me and by packing I mean the time when I was ready to leave Bangalore; we went through some of the stuff we werent sure of. It's been over a year in this apartment and while thats not much, two people left during the past year and some of their stuff were left behind. We were making sure that none of the stuff left behind were important and hence trash worthy.

It was at this point that we found something that boggled our eyes as well as our minds. You see, one of our previous roomate had left behind a stash (carefully hidden) of provocative pictures. Oh hell, why lie ? They were pure porn. Prono pics taken off the internet and then printed in black and white on A4 papers.

Boys will be boys. I get that, I totally do. But this is certainly not the sort of thing that you do when youre in your mid 20's. No no, when you're in your mid 20's you already know what sex is about and you dont need Debonair or Cosmopolitan. And you most certainly do not want to take print outs of internet porno. That's just ... just ... wierd.

We had a good laugh about it and stashed it away in the black plastic garbage bag.

Wrong move.

The packing was done and we shifted everything out to the new place where V would be staying. I was scheduled to leave that weekend. So everything was set and all we had to do was clean the place up and throw out the trash, which for some reason; we wouldnt do. Why ? Beats me. I know I'm lazy and I also know V had work that day but since we packed the whole place up it only seemed logical that we clean up.

Well, we ended up hiring help which is always ready at hand in India. V went off to work and left me to supervise the old woman who did the cleaning and the trash. As this was being done and me looking all important the woman upstairs, (not the coins couple) came down to have a chat and ask about the new place. This was unprecedented. The ladies of that building had always a wary eye for bachelors and we never expected them to indulge in chitchat. Maybe it was the fact that we were leaving that made this woman let her guard down.

Thinking back on it now I can see how clearly those things stacked up against me.

The cleaning lady took out the trash bag just as the woman upstairs was asking me about my family. The trash was stuffed in those big black plastic garbage bags and she had some difficulty getting it down the stairs. Ever the chivalrous, I offered to give her a hand. I took hold of the bottom in a fast grip and that was when I saw it.

The bottom had given away. And it was too late.

See this picture. See it very well :

We are at the head of a fleet of stairs. The bottom of a trash bag filled with papers has ripped off. The porno pics for which neither me nor V are responsible stumble out. Some get picked up with the wind and the lady from upstairs has a good long look at them as they fly past her. The rest fall out onto the stairs and in such an orchestrated manner that there is on one each step until it reaches the door of a family downstairs which unfortunately is open.

The door slams as the woman upstairs dissapears. All in one fast, swift moment.

The cleaning lady looks at the pictures and then back at the shocked, red faced me.

"Bachelors, eh ?" she asks.

4 comments:

Stefanie said...

I posted it on BC, and I'll say it again here. The cleaning ladies comment is the funniest part of this story! I can picture a little old lady saying something like that... it cracks me up.

Alex Mcone said...

She didnt seem too bothered about it and to tell you the truth that's what left me with a bit of sanity.

Oh well, those are a couple of people I will never ever again see in my life.

Caroline Jaine said...

Great story! Reminds of when I lived in Sri Lanka and my housekeepr found the erotic fridge magnet poetry I had hidden away in the kitchen drawer and spent the afternoon unwittingly putting together some porn o lyrics. Not being an english reader she didn't quite get my hideous embarrasment.

Alex Mcone said...

Erotic literature is ok, especially when people dont read the language it's written in.

But porno picz are a totally different case. Anyone can understand what's going on in them.