Friday, March 7, 2008

Of the broken hearted

We've all had it havent we ? At some point or the other we've all been broken hearted. Believe me its pretty serious business. Broken hearted people have done the caziest things like suicide, murder, arson, etc. And its pretty painful too. The gut wrenching pain of a twisted heart is the worst you can ever imagine.

So how do you mend it ? Easy. You dont. It mends itself. But there are a few things you can do to stop you from going loony and getting yourself hurt. So the below are a couple of do's and dont's for the broken hearted.

Oh, before I start - this is for guys. Girls, sorry but I dont know how you handle these situations. I'd be really obliged if you let me know though.

So, lets begin shall we ?

1. Do drink. Please go ahead. Indulge yourself in the sweet release of alcohol. I'm not going to say no to any broken hearted person who wants to drink. However make sure you drink with your friends and not alone. Do not drive after you drink and do not walk back to your house alone after you drink. You're likely to get mugged or worse still you'd probably think of stepping in front of the first car you see. So, please do drink, but drink safe.

2. Do cry. Boys dont cry is what they say. Well f**k that. You have to cry to get those emotions out. Just dont be a sobbing sop though. Get into the bathroom or your bedroom and let it all out for five minutes. Dry yourself up and get back out there. You'll probably be called a pansy for that, but let me tell you something. Holding back your emotions is just stupid. You're going to do yourself more harm than good and I mean physically. Please cry. Its frickin healthy.

3. Do a hobby. If you've had anything in mind, now's the best time. Collect coins, stamps, animal droppings for all I care but just do something. Try not to be idle as much as you can. Being idle will only make your thoughts go into the grief mode and thats when all the morbid and macabre plans start to materialize. So go ahead, do something. Write a story, a poem or paint something. The best works have always come out during the extremest of emotions. Who knows, you could make a lot of money out of it !

4. Do go to work. Taking the day off is not going to help. Go to the office, bury yourself neck deep in work until you cant take it anymore. Trust me, you'll never hate the office again.

5. Dont be alone. If you're a person who had no friends other than the woman you loved, by God are you pathetic! Go out with friends, get some male bonding done. Accept the fact that you're never really going to forget her or the love you had ... but you'll have one helluva beach rave party in Goa that'll get you pretty close.

6. Dont go to a prostitute. Major mistake. Not only are you going to lose money, you are also not going to get the passion and intensity you want. Besides with the grief you have inside you, you might not be able to perform and that is not going to do your self confidence any good.

7. Do not date. You're vulnerable. If your date shows any sign of care you're very likely to grab on to it and not let go. That's only going to get you dumped again. Dont date.

8. Do forgive. If you're thinking about revenge ... what are you: 15 ? If she's dumped you its for the best. Probably wouldnt have worked out any either way. Trying to find an explanation or trying to get back to her is not going to do you any good. Yeah, burning pictures (read: Jab We Met) are probably cool, and if the girl was one helluva slut who kept playing you on, then letting her have it over the phone is cool too. Otherwise its just not worth it.

9. Dont patch up. Do not go back to her. I gave you crying and poetry and thats about as much as I'll let you. Going back to the girl who dumped you is SAD! Period. She dumped you, you dont need her anymore. Get with it.

10. Do go home. If you have a family who understands and respects your emotions - go home, have a chat over coffee. You'll feel much better. If you have a conservative Indian family where love is the ultimate sin - steer clear. You're just likely to get a lot of them dreaded lectures.

And remember: you never will forget the ones you love. So dont even try to forget her. When broken hearted, you try to live on. It'll take time, I know but one night six months or maybe even six years later; one night you're going to lie down to sleep and then think to yourself: 'I didnt think about her at all today'.

Thats when you know its all over.

*Edit: Oh I forgot another "do". Laugh. Yep, try to laugh at everything. If you're colleague says the lamest joke you've ever heard then bray like a donkey. Its healthy and gets you in good spirits.

So go ahead, bray ... bray like there's no tomorrow!


anN-series said...

girls too do the same...drink, cry, bitch, work n pursue hobby (reading shopping :~) )...i personally believe tht unless someone else comes to atleast distract u...u will still mop...

kneel to heal said...

You'd do great to author a book on combating worry & loss .It gets me wondering if you've gained expertise over the years after you've been able to present your findings in a logical and cohesive manner .This certainly doesn't sound like your first time around at being heart broken.ButI guess I shouldn't pry.
(Everything you stated is significantly noteworthy, except for the alcohol bit.I'd personally not advocate drink as a means to overcome ruing over a broken relationship.)
Good going anyway and hope you'll heal soon.

Alex Mcone said...

@ ann - I guess we aint all that different huh ?

@ kneel - Three times I've been heart broken. So yeah, all that you read in this blog is going to be out of experience. Life, as always, is the greatest teacher.

Thanks for dropping by. Do you have a blog ? I've got this habit of reading blogs now. :)

bray or pray? said...

Sorry Alex,I don't have a blog.
If I may say,you need to do some soul searching, trying to figure out why this has been happening to you recurrently.Most people give you reasons before they leave.
Also to add, there's this huge dark area within us, that we aren't aware of, that God sends flood waters occasionally to purge us of our frailties.But don't just let the current sweep you away;hang in there tight.Cheer up for now.
The heart was made to be broken-Oscar Wilde

earthlingorgeous said...

These are good tips very especially the one on don't go to a prostitute and don't go dating. Very good points. I hope men really do this though than just break others hearts because theirs are broken.

Alex Mcone said...

Yeah I hope they do the same but the sad reality is ... people invariable hurt others for their own pain.

Sad thing.